Happiness is a Skill

My passion stems from being able to share with people the tools I use to get me to my goals. For so long I struggled with depression, insecurity, and the inability to be happy in my own life. Over the last year I have fought back against those emotions and negative things. I sought out to be better, to do better, and to make my dreams a reality. Part of the process for me is sharing with other people the things that helped me in an effort to help solve the problems people have that are similar to my own.

Though I feel healthy nutrition and exercise play a great roll in how far I have come and how far someone else is able to go, I believe equally in the power of self confidence. Without confidence I doesn't matter how much time or effort you have put in at the gym or how many meals you have made on your own.

Happiness is directly related with how confident I am. Also, how much I am able to give to other people depends a lot on my own happiness and self confidence. I place as much importance on my mental happiness as I do my physical happiness. A lot of time, I am more concerned with how confident, happy, or relaxed I am before I worry about how many squats or hours I completed at the gym. 

I devote and schedule time specifically for self improvement and relaxation. I said a week or so ago in my Video Blog Post that maintaining my stress is going to be a key element in the progress I am able to make over this next year. The same way I tell myself I will go to the gym at 5:30am, I also tell myself I will spend 30 minutes to an 1 hour working on myself internally. Many people skip this step!! It is crucial... You cannot expect to change your habits or get better results on the outside if you haven't worked on the inside. For those people that consistently make no progress...perhaps you start something and never finish it... I encourage you to look inward and be honest... are you really working on the mental and internal part of being healthy and happy?!? 

Here are a few things I have found that help me with self improvement...

1.) Love, love, LOVING positive quotes lately! Positive quotes on my bathroom mirror, positive quotes on my desk at work, positive quotes on my phone screen saver. I am focusing intently on changing the way I think, also. If I start thinking in a negative context, I quickly switch it to a positive. This is taking work, but when I focus on it it is helping me. 

2.) I am loving Happify right now!!! Happify is an online website that walks you through activities (or tracks as they are called on the website) that improve your happiness and own self awareness. The same way you work through exercises at the gym, is the same thing you do here. You answer a series of questions and receive custom activities to improve your Happiness. I devote an additional 15-30 minutes each morning to Happify. I devote time to it because it improves my ability to be more positive and happy throughout the day! Start with every other day just 15 minutes and see how it improves your happiness.

3.) I am writing more!!! Writing has become my #1 defense against negative thoughts or moving backwards. I have my spiral notebook where I keep notes and journal my thoughts. My Happify profile also has prompted questions that I write a few sentences about when I do my activities. The questions and prompts are written in a way that force me to find happiness or solutions in what I am doing. It is helpful in keeping my thoughts moving in a positive direction. 

Fit Wife- Brooklyn Mar

Welcome to this week's Fit Wife Wednesday! This week Miss Brooklyn Mar is our featured FIT WIFE! Wife, mom, bikini competitor, Brooklyn is sharing her story as a healthy fit wife and mom! 

Follow Brooklyn on Instagram for motivational posts!

Fit Wife Wednesday...

Hi! My name is Brooklyn Mar, I am a 32 year old mom of two kids, Olivia and Brian. My husbands name is Hector, we have been together for 11 years this year and married for almost 2. 

My fitness journey started around the time I started seeing my husband, I was a cardio bunny! I was scared of lifting heavy, scared I would get too bulky. Oh man was I wrong and wish I had started way back when. But I have learned to eat well, lift right and thus began my competing life!

I have competed in both an NPC bikini competition in November of 2013 and also a WBFF show, in both divisions they offer, which are bikini and fitness. I didn't place in either of those shows, yet I find myself still driving towards becoming the best version of me I can.

Finding a balance in a lifestyle like this can be very difficult, especially having growing kids in the house and a husband who eats for bodybuilding as well, even though he doesn't compete. Thankfully we do all eat very similar, except my husband and I like brown rice and our kids like white rice!


I do most of the grocery shopping and can eat pretty much the same things daily, which makes it easier while I am on a prep, which lasts around 3-4 months or to make it sound a little better 12-16 weeks.

My food choices for proteins consist of egg whites, lean red meats, ground turkey, chicken breast and protein powder, usually from Cellucor. For my carbs I love the simple stuff like oats-rolled or steel cut, I just find their texture really good! Also, I like brown rice, sweet potato, Ezekiel bread or P28 bread. I love any type of vegetable but find I do very well with green beans, asparagus, zucchini, cucumber, squash spinach and all kinds of lettuce. I don't really count my veggies as an intake of calories, since most of them are very low in calories and very filling, so I never really go hungry. 


I prepare my food in bulk about three times a week to try and keep my prep times in check, especially since I work night shift I like to just measure out my ounces, pack it up and go! I do have a 6-pack bag that makes carrying my meals so much easier. If you are serious about a healthy lifestyle, competing or just getting your metabolism going, then you will want to carry your meals with you! It saves money, the frustration of what you're going to eat and you are never stuck somewhere and hungry! Also, start carrying water with you, I never leave without my gallon! 

Finding a balance between being a mom, a wife, a student as well as working nights while in competition prep is hard, but can be done with just a little preparation for your week ahead! My next show is about 14 weeks away, so I am already planning again! I am happy to share in my healthy journey to the stage, I hope to share everything I know about being a fit wife with a fit life! 

Utilizing the Tools I Gather

Hello!
The purpose of my blog today is to track my progress and share the various ways I plan to accomplish my goals this upcoming year. This past weekend was a very motivating weekend in Long Beach at Super Camp. I was surrounded and being taught by top Pro Athletes in the WBFF, experts in all industries from marketing, skin care, and self improvement. In addition, I shared the weekend with over 30 driven and motivated weekend.

WBFF Super Camp with Nathan Harewood and WBFF Pros Sharon Polsky,
Nadia Lopez, Lindsay Messina, and Teri Crenshaw
at Pole Position Fitness, Long Beach, CA

This was not my first camp. Over the last year I have attended 10 or more of these health and fitness camps here in California. Each and every time I come out of camp feeling motivated and encouraged to put the tools I gathered to use. Slowly I would lose that motivation and find myself back to my old habits. Going in to the camp I decided this time would be different.

Yesterday was the first day and the first Monday following camp. So far, so good! My first step was to admit to myself that I was going to have to face a few fears head on if I was going to create new habits. We all know this, right? Doing something new is always scary, but after you have done it a few times we overcome the fear. I sent texts to my closest friends and coaches making the commitment to change and improve myself. This first step seems to be what I may have been missing prior. It is an accountability factor. NOW, I cannot give up so easy and I cannot make excuses as to why I have not accomplished what I said I would.

I would challenge you to start there first. Make a commitment to someone other than yourself. Someone you trust, someone that knows and will appreciate the struggle you are about to have. I think this is something important to consider, SOMEONE THAT KNOWS AND APPRECIATES. Too often we tell someone our goals or dreams and they are someone that has no clue what it takes to get to where we want to go. Not only that, it is possible they are paralyzed by fears themselves and potentially could hold you back.

Another step I took yesterday is purchasing a journal and writing ALL of my year's goals on the inside cover. My plan is to each day write in my journal everything I am feeling, the things I have done or accomplished that day, and refer back constantly to the POWER GOALS on the inside cover. This way I can constantly check to see if my actions are in line with my goals. Also, I am able to track the smaller steps that I am taking toward accomplishing my goals. I think it will be a positive and motivating seeing that though it is small, I am making great progress!

Finally, each morning I am making a list of 3-4 things to accomplish for the day. Nothing extreme, just small actions listed that I can check off as I have completed them. Yesterday I felt accomplished when I went to bed. I had completed the 4 things that I had added to my list yesterday morning. They were smaller goal that I had accomplished, but I feel like it was a step in the right direction to create a new habit of committing and achieving.

Off to start a new day and tackle new goals!!!

Today-- Commit to someone that will hold you accountable in a positive way. Also, start by making a list of your POWER GOALS... the goals you will accomplish this year. Start with the big goals and then work your way backwards tackling smaller goals that are in line with your POWER GOALS.

The Countdown Begins

Just 12 weeks from the WBFF LA show on April 26th.
So many emotions, fears, and excitement take over right about this time. It is difficult not to get caught up in the competition or comparison with other athletes.  I think it is a trait we learn early on in our childhood and breaking the cycle becomes another task to add to the "self improvement" list. I also dont think one needs to compete to feel these overwhelming feelings, it's felt in all walks of life.
That said, I will get to the point of my post. With 12 weeks out from my next fitness bikini competition,  I will begin to post progress updates. My inspiration came from a Thank God it's Monday video by Eric Thomas. I took from that video the concept of, I GOT TO OR I GET TO. It hit home. Often I find myself becoming inconsistent with my effort because I put such a negative vibe on the work that needs to be put in to reach the top of the mountain.  Ill be very honest and say I've become inconsistent in how tediously I follow meal plans or how much I allow doubt to take over. No I am not adding cake or processed food in mass quantities, but I am adding extras. Extra half of a grapefruit, extra cashews, extra steak or chicken. To some it may sound like no big deal when you consider there are worse things. However, I realized how much I was only hurting myself by doing this. I needed to get a handle on it and develop a new mentality to break the cycle.
Now, it's I GET TO eat food that will make me feel better.... I GET TO drink all of my water to have glowing skin... I GET TO eat the coconut oil to have more energy during the day. When in started changing my mentality, it all started to feel more rewarding. It is applicable in the gym, also. I GET TO do this leg workout to have a great butt.... I GET TO do cardio and sprints to create a leaner physique...
I enjoy thinking... I GET TO prove my doubters wrong and I GET TO show people it is possible.  It is no secret, we all have people in our lives that would love to see us fail. They may not admit it, but there is always a doubter (I hate the word hater) lingering. There is always someone that doesn't want to see you go as far as you dream of. Tell yourself I GET TO PROVE THEM WRONG!
Have you ever thought of what is truly holding you back? Maybe it is inconsistency or lack of confidence in what you can accomplish.  I know now that I GET to do things that will make me more competitive on stage or competitive in life. I have the opportunity to set the example, pursue a healthy life, and I GET TO work hard for the things I have always dreamed of. Bigger.... better... things!
There are no limits in life and it's easy to say, but believing it's possible is the hardest part. We see things with blinders on and we become stuck in our own negative thoughts. See past your doubt and fears... I GET TO work towards being and having a better life!!

Here is my progress from August 2012 to August 2013 and the final picture (on the right) from today! I feel stronger and much more confident about the body I am creating.